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Dance!
The more observant recyclers will have noted the new dance craze that has overtaken the recycling depot, “The milk jug two-step”. It goes to the tune of the Stompin’ Tom Connors classic whose lyrics run: “You may think it’s goofy, but the man in the moon is a Newfie.” If you’re not a fan of Stompin’ Tom don’t worry, the milk jug two-step is adaptable. You can hum your own tune, lead with either foot, step lightly or with weight, though you should probably wear shoes. The goals are threefold, to have fun, get a little leg exercise, and to flatten the dairy and dairy substitute containers so that we can fit more per bag and earn a bigger return. For those who don’t dance, or have two left feet, don’t despair, just imagine that milk jug is the head of your worst—but let’s not go there. Instead, here’s more good news: it’s not only milk and milk substitutes, but the four and nine litre water jugs that need flattening. Forget the beer and pop cans, the small plastic water and juice bottles. They can be left as is. And do not, repeat do not, do the milk jug two-step on glass bottles, though by all means dance on those bag-in-a-box numbers. It all has to do with volume and return. Every drink container carries a ten-cent deposit, whether it’s a tiny juice carton the kids take for lunch, a gallon water jug, or a two-litre box of Burrard Inlet Low Tide Malbec. If you’re not as light on your feet as you once were then get a partner and turn the milk jug two-step into a waltz or romantic little slow dance. And it does not have to be a partner your own age. Remember that small children love to jump up and down, alone or in groups. It’s an excellent way for them to burn off that excess energy. Just be sure to remove the caps from the container, otherwise it’ll be like stomping a soccer ball and very hard on the knees. To save time, you should do the milk jug two-step at home. However, should the desire to dance overtake you while at the depot then go for it. A little light entertainment is always welcome in the workplace, though it’s probably best not to close your eyes after the fashion of a whirling dervish or indulge too many ballet leaps or Cossack kicks, for we wouldn’t want you to get run over by some anti-dance curmudgeon or someone desperate to escape all that aggravating joie de vivre. To encourage the milk jug two-step, we will be widening the departure lane and remind depot patrons to park as far to the right as possible to give the performers room to kick up their heels. So, all you hip hoppers, quick steppers, jitter buggers, cake walkers, can canners, twisters, fruggers, jivers, bunny hoppers, disco queens, fox trotters and funky chicken enthusiasts, let the spirit take you and dance. - Grant Buday |